{"id":381,"date":"2025-01-16T07:33:49","date_gmt":"2025-01-16T07:33:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/seal.ergucu.com\/?p=381"},"modified":"2025-01-16T07:33:49","modified_gmt":"2025-01-16T07:33:49","slug":"ikili-iliskilerde-ciftler-ruyalarini-birbirleriyle-paylasmaya-bile-cesaret-edemiyorlar","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/seal.ergucu.com\/?p=381","title":{"rendered":"\u0130K\u0130L\u0130 \u0130L\u0130\u015eK\u0130LERDE \u00c7\u0130FTLER, R\u00dcYALARINI B\u0130RB\u0130RLER\u0130YLE PAYLA\u015eMAYA B\u0130LE CESARET EDEM\u0130YORLAR"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"body_resize\">\n<div class=\"left\">\n<div id=\"yazi\">\n<h2>\u0130K\u0130L\u0130 \u0130L\u0130\u015eK\u0130LERDE \u00c7\u0130FTLER, R\u00dcYALARINI B\u0130RB\u0130RLER\u0130YLE PAYLA\u015eMAYA B\u0130LE CESARET EDEM\u0130YORLAR<\/h2>\n<p><strong><em><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.on-art.net\/pictures\/devir-10-aylin-22.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"650\" height=\"362\" \/><\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/episode\/3H7SXtY0riZA9yiUIRQE5N\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><strong><em>\u0130K\u0130L\u0130 \u0130L\u0130\u015eK\u0130LERDE \u00c7\u0130FTLER, R\u00dcYALARINI B\u0130RB\u0130RLER\u0130YLE PAYLA\u015eMAYA B\u0130LE CESARET EDEM\u0130YORLAR&#8221;<\/em><\/strong><\/a><br \/>\n<em>(Spotify Podcast&#8217;te s\u00f6yle\u015fimizi dinlemek i\u00e7in ba\u015fl\u0131\u011f\u0131 t\u0131klayabilirsiniz.)<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Eyl\u00fcl ve Ekim say\u0131lar\u0131nda sayfama konuk olan T\u00fcrkiye\u2019nin \u00f6nde gelen psikolog ve yazarlar\u0131ndan G\u00fcnd\u00fcz Vassaf\u2019la konu\u015ftuklar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n bu ayki son b\u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcnde erkek \u015fiddetinin \u00f6nlenmesine dair yap\u0131lmas\u0131 gerekenlerle birlikte korona g\u00fcnlerinin bize dayatt\u0131\u011f\u0131 de\u011fi\u015fim s\u00fcrecinde toplumlar\u0131 ve insan ili\u015fkilerini ele ald\u0131k. Kald\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z yerden devam ediyoruz.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>\u015eiddetin \u00f6nlenmesi ad\u0131na \u00f6zellikle kad\u0131n s\u0131\u011f\u0131nma merkezleri konusu \u00e7ok tart\u0131\u015f\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 bir ara\u2026\u00a0 Ben de hatta \u2018kad\u0131n s\u0131\u011f\u0131nma merkezleri\u2019 a\u00e7\u0131laca\u011f\u0131na \u2018erkek \u0131slah ve e\u011fitim merkezleri\u2019 a\u00e7\u0131lsa erkekler bu zihniyet d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00fcm\u00fcne kat\u0131lsa nas\u0131l olur diye hemen her platformda hep s\u00f6ylerim. Ger\u00e7ekten nas\u0131l olur?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>\u0130\u015fte, bu ilkokuldan ba\u015flamal\u0131, \u0131slah merkezi de\u011fil ama roller alarak, roller oynayarak ilkokuldan ba\u015flamal\u0131 \u00f6\u011fretilmeye\u2026 Tacizci erkek rol\u00fcn\u00fc oynayarak, \u015fuh kad\u0131n rol\u00fcn\u00fc oynayarak, yelpazedeki b\u00fct\u00fcn rolleri oynayarak, ilkokulda, ortaokulda olmas\u0131 gereken bu\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>Belki \u0130stanbul S\u00f6zle\u015fmesi beraberinde e\u011fitim reformunu da g\u00fcndeme getirebilir, dedi\u011finiz gibi ilkokuldan ba\u015flayarak \u00fcniversiteye hatta hayata at\u0131lana kadar yeti\u015fme s\u00fcrecinde devam eden bir e\u011fitim ve b\u00f6yle bir bilin\u00e7 a\u015f\u0131lan\u0131r. Cinsiyet\u00e7i dil kullan\u0131lmadan, ayr\u0131m yap\u0131lmadan, insan haklar\u0131 \u00e7er\u00e7evesinde bunun \u00f6\u011fretilmesiyle belki m\u00fcmk\u00fcn k\u0131l\u0131nacak.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>Aylin, bildi\u011fimiz anlamda okul art\u0131k miad\u0131n\u0131 doldurdu zaten. Tarihin, co\u011frafyan\u0131n, dilbilgisinin \u00f6\u011frenilece\u011fi yer de\u011fil art\u0131k, bilgiye ula\u015fabilece\u011fimiz, okuldakinden \u00e7ok daha verimli, daha kolay eri\u015filebilir, daha bilgili alanlar, mekanlar var. Fakat okulun \u00f6nemi sosyalle\u015fme, birlikte b\u00fcy\u00fcmek, birlikte olgunla\u015fmak\u2026 Bunlar okulun konusu\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>Bu pandemi d\u00f6nemi sosyalle\u015fmeye de ket vurdu. Ve san\u0131yorum bu k\u0131sa da s\u00fcrmeyecek, yeniden normale d\u00f6nmemiz i\u00e7in 3-4 y\u0131l\u0131 bulacak uzun bir s\u00fcre\u00e7, e\u011fitimden i\u015f ya\u015fam\u0131na kadar herhalde bizi bekliyor, de\u011fil mi?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>Aylin, \u015fiar her zaman; en k\u00f6t\u00fcs\u00fc i\u00e7in haz\u0131rl\u0131kl\u0131 olmak, en iyisini ummak. Onun i\u00e7in \u00fc\u00e7 y\u0131ll\u0131k, d\u00f6rt y\u0131ll\u0131k diye d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmek tabi ki do\u011fru\u2026 Tabi ki do\u011fru.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>Buna haz\u0131rl\u0131kl\u0131 olunmal\u0131 her \u015feyden \u00f6nce, firmalar\u0131n da bireylerin de. Bence bireylerden ba\u015fl\u0131yor zaten bizim itibar mevzu gibi\u2026 \u0130\u00e7eriden ve ki\u015finin kendinden ba\u015fl\u0131yor, bu anlamda insan\u0131n da belki olumluya evrilme s\u00fcrecinde hem \u015fiddet hem pandemi gibi di\u011fer olumsuzluklar, teknolojinin de sizin ilk ba\u015fta i\u015faret etti\u011finiz gibi dayatmas\u0131yla birlikte daha h\u0131zl\u0131 m\u0131 acaba iyi insana do\u011fru gidi\u015fi getirir bize?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>Bence ka\u00e7\u0131n\u0131lmaz, yapay zekan\u0131n, robotlar\u0131n, \u00fc\u00e7 boyutlu kuantum bilgisayarlar\u0131n vs devreye girmesiyle \u00e7al\u0131\u015fma ortam\u0131ndan \u00e7ok \u00f6zg\u00fcrle\u015fece\u011fiz zaten ve oradan \u00e7\u0131kacak servet da\u011f\u0131t\u0131labilinecek yani kitlelerle payla\u015f\u0131labilecek. Milyarderler devam etse dahi, bu gelir adaletsizli\u011fi devam etse dahi b\u00fcy\u00fck bir i\u015fsizlik olaca\u011f\u0131 \u00f6ng\u00f6r\u00fclmesine ra\u011fmen oradan yepyeni imkanlar \u00e7\u0131kacak.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>Korku iklimi konusu da etkilenir mi? Bu salg\u0131n\u0131n da kontrol alt\u0131na al\u0131nmas\u0131 i\u00e7in insanlar\u0131n \u00fczerine bir korku sal\u0131nd\u0131\u011f\u0131 hep s\u00f6ylenir. Bu s\u00fcre\u00e7 nas\u0131l etkilenir bu dediklerinizden genel anlamda bakacak olursak?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>Koronayla ilgili korku iklimi yarat\u0131lmad\u0131, tam tersine\u2026 T\u00fcr\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fcn en temel i\u00e7g\u00fcd\u00fcs\u00fc can\u0131n\u0131 kurtarmak, sa\u011f kalmak\u2026 Onun i\u00e7in yamyam da olabiliyoruz, ihbarc\u0131 da olabiliyoruz, katil de olabiliyoruz her \u015fey olabiliyoruz. Temel i\u00e7g\u00fcd\u00fc bu, genellikle a\u011f\u0131r bas\u0131yor. Fakat koronada hayal k\u0131r\u0131kl\u0131\u011f\u0131na u\u011frad\u0131m, ilk \u00f6nce yan\u0131l\u0131yormu\u015fum diye d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc g\u00f6r\u00fcyoruz, korku yok gibi davranan milyonlarca insan var. Hatta onun \u00fcst\u00fcne \u00e7\u0131k\u0131p \u2018benim hakk\u0131md\u0131r, \u00f6zg\u00fcrl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcmd\u00fcr\u2019 diyenler var. T\u00fcrkiye\u2019yi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorum, mesela sigara paketleri, devlet sigara i\u00e7ilmesine kar\u015f\u0131, onun i\u00e7in gayet kuvvetli \u015feyler yap\u0131l\u0131yor, sigara paketlerinde giderek daha \u00fcrk\u00fct\u00fcc\u00fc resimler, yaz\u0131lar konuluyor vs. Ve bu \u00fcrk\u00fct\u00fcc\u00fc hakikaten, g\u00f6r\u00fcnce ben \u00fcrk\u00fcyorum ve reklamlar\u0131n bu \u015fekilde olmas\u0131n\u0131n etkisi de oldu. Demek ki bu koronada a\u011fz\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131k aslan\u0131 g\u00f6rmemiz \u015fartm\u0131\u015f. Yani korona yine uzak bir \u015fey, bencilli\u011fimizden bende yoktur diye d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyoruz, e yok da, ta\u015f\u0131y\u0131c\u0131 olabilece\u011fimizi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmek de istemiyoruz, konduram\u0131yoruz yani birka\u00e7 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnce s\u00fcreci var. Ama o sigara paketlerinde yapt\u0131klar\u0131 gibi e\u011fer ger\u00e7ekten sa\u011fl\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 korumak i\u00e7in bu kadar dikkat ediliyorsa, yani gelenek, din vs de\u011fil de ger\u00e7ekten sa\u011fl\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z i\u00e7inse, o zaman \u0130stanbul B\u00fcy\u00fck\u015fehir Belediyesi veya h\u00fck\u00fcmet ki bu sadece T\u00fcrkiye i\u00e7in de\u011fil, \u0130svi\u00e7re i\u00e7in de Londra i\u00e7in de ge\u00e7erli, o onlarca koca billboardlara koyun solunum cihaz\u0131na ba\u011flanm\u0131\u015f insan resimlerini, koyun toplu kaz\u0131lm\u0131\u015f mezarlar\u0131n resimlerini, korkutun bizi\u2026 Demek ki korkmuyoruz, korkmam\u0131z laz\u0131m. Fakat devlet \u00e7eli\u015fkide, \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc hem toplumun sa\u011fl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 korumak istiyor fakat onun kadar \u00e7arklar d\u00f6ns\u00fcn, paralar kazan\u0131ls\u0131n da istiyor. \u0130kisi aras\u0131nda gidip geliyor, ikisini de beceremiyor. Halbuki \u00e7ok da ara\u015ft\u0131rma yap\u0131lmad\u0131, ar\u0131yorlar ar\u0131yorlar bulam\u0131yorlar \u0130spanyol nezlesinde, sanki hi\u00e7 d\u00fcnyaya u\u011framam\u0131\u015f gibi, ellerinde \u00a0\u00a0elli-y\u00fcz milyon \u00f6l\u00fc diye bir rakam var yani d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcn arada elli milyon oynayan bir rakam var, ne roman yaz\u0131lm\u0131\u015f, ne \u015fark\u0131s\u0131 yap\u0131lm\u0131\u015f, ne ara\u015ft\u0131rmas\u0131 \u00f6yle gelmi\u015f ge\u00e7mi\u015f. Fakat tek t\u00fck ara\u015ft\u0131rmalara g\u00f6re, erken a\u00e7\u0131lan \u015fehirler, kasabalar hemen tekrar ma\u011fdur konuma geliyor, uzun vadede ekonomik olarak da normali yakalayam\u0131yor. Ba\u015fkalar\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131l\u0131rken daha uzun s\u00fcre kapal\u0131 kalanlar\u0131n uzun vadede gelir durumu, ekonomisi \u00e7ok daha iyi durumda\u2026\u00a0 Bunu maalesef g\u00f6z ard\u0131 ediyoruz. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc siyaset\u00e7iler de anketlere o kadar \u00e7ok al\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015flar ki, y\u00fczde bir puan d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc\u011f\u00fc zaman bile, eyvah yanl\u0131\u015f yap\u0131yoruz d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncesinde, ondan sonra da bu nedenle art\u0131yor falan derken serseri may\u0131n gibi kararlar veriyorlar.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>Korkutulsa insanlar tedbirlere de uyar, sosyal mesafeye de, maskesini de takar diyorsunuz.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>Herkes de\u011fil tabi, \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc yeni bir \u00f6zg\u00fcrl\u00fck hareketi ba\u015flad\u0131 biliyorsunuz, devlete kar\u015f\u0131 zaten bir hareket var her yerde, devlet hi\u00e7bir \u015feyime dokunmas\u0131n hareketi, \u00f6zellikle \u0130spanya olsun, Amerika olsun \u015fimdi \u00e7ok daha siyasile\u015fti. Amerika\u2019n\u0131n ba\u015fkan\u0131 bile s\u00f6yl\u00fcyor mesela, \u201cSenin anayasal hakk\u0131nd\u0131r, istersen maske takma\u201d diyor, ama ayn\u0131 adam \u201cMaske de tak\u0131n\u201d diyor.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>Nas\u0131l olacak \u015fimdi, hangisini tercih edecek? Tercih insanlara b\u0131rak\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131 zaman hep karma\u015fa \u00e7\u0131k\u0131yor galiba\u2026<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>Baz\u0131 \u015feyleri b\u0131rakamazs\u0131n tabi, \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc bireyin tercihi toplumu etkileyen bir \u015fey. Bireyler intihar etmek isteyebilir, hakk\u0131 bile olabilir ama o bireyin intihar\u0131, koronadaki tutumu bir, be\u015f, on, bin ki\u015finin \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcne yol a\u00e7acaksa bunu yapamaz.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>Do\u011fu ile bat\u0131 aras\u0131nda t\u0131bba bak\u0131\u015f\u0131 nas\u0131l g\u00f6rd\u00fcn\u00fcz bu s\u00fcre\u00e7te? T\u0131bb\u0131n ad\u0131 Bat\u0131\u2019da \u2018medicine\u2019, Do\u011fu\u2019da \u2018ayurveda\u2019\u2026 Birinde medicine, ilaca dayal\u0131 bir uygulama olarak g\u00f6r\u00fcl\u00fcyor, oysa do\u011fudaki ad\u0131 ayurveda; hastal\u0131k de\u011fil hayat\u0131n bilimi diye ge\u00e7iyor. Tan\u0131mlamada bile bak\u0131\u015f a\u00e7\u0131s\u0131na yans\u0131yan bir farkl\u0131l\u0131k getiriyordur bu durum diye d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorum.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>Bu tart\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z bir \u015fey, \u00f6zellikle ba\u015flang\u0131\u00e7ta Vietnam, G\u00fcney Kore, Tayland, Kuzey Kore bile iyiydi, Japonya \u00e7ok iyiydi bu konuda, sosyal sorumluluk konusunda \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc sa\u011fl\u0131\u011fa b\u00fct\u00fcn olarak bakt\u0131lar, yani toplumun sorunu olarak bakt\u0131lar bireyin sorunu olarak de\u011fil\u2026 Ama bu Konf\u00fc\u00e7yus\u2019un d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncesinden mi geliyor emin de\u011filim. \u00c7in\u2019de \u00e7al\u0131\u015fan bir arkada\u015f\u0131m abart\u0131yorsun dedi, \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc Konf\u00fc\u00e7yus\u2019un d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncesi olsa orada da totaliter d\u00fczenler var ayn\u0131 k\u00fclt\u00fcrden gelen, yar\u0131 demokrasiler de var, tam demokrasiler de var, onun i\u00e7in bu kadar kaba bakamay\u0131z dedi ki, hakl\u0131.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>Bir r\u00f6portaj\u0131n\u0131zda okumu\u015ftum milliyet\u00e7ilik ve din uzatmalarda demi\u015fsiniz ve butik inan\u00e7lar ortaya \u00e7\u0131kacak diyorsunuz. Nas\u0131l olacak bu? O kadar \u00e7ok soru var ki sormak istedi\u011fim, erkek \u015fiddeti ve \u0130stanbul S\u00f6zle\u015fmesi ile ba\u015flad\u0131k ama okuyucular\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n da faydalanmas\u0131 i\u00e7in farkl\u0131 konulara da de\u011finmemiz \u00e7ok faydal\u0131 oluyor.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>Bunu yeni d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmeye ba\u015flad\u0131m \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc bu soru her zaman akl\u0131m\u0131zda: Nereden geldik, nereye gidiyoruz? Felsefeciler bunu \u00e7ok d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u00fc\u015f, Tanr\u0131\u2019ya inans\u0131nlar, inanmas\u0131nlar \u00e7ok d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fckleri bir konu\u2026 Giderek dinle ba\u011flant\u0131m\u0131z eskisi gibi kuvvetli de\u011fil, en dindar dedi\u011fimiz toplumlarda bile \u00f6zellikle koronada bunu \u00e7ok g\u00f6rd\u00fck yani \u0130spanyol nezlesinde bile, \u00e7ok eski de\u011fil\u2026 Kiliselerden, tap\u0131naklardan, Tanr\u0131\u2019dan, peygamberlerinden medet uman \u00e7oktu. Bu sefer iktidar paylar\u0131 dini oylara da dayal\u0131 olan \u00fclkelerde bile aman kiliseye gitmeyin, camiye gitmeyin, Hindistan\u2019da tap\u0131naklara gitmeyin demeye ba\u015flad\u0131 ve dedi muhafazakar liderler&#8230; Ve medet ila\u00e7tan, a\u015f\u0131dan, tedaviden, doktordan, bilimden yana\u2026 En geni\u015f kitleler bilimden medet umuyor. Bu, dinin ba\u015fka bir kulvara girdi\u011fini g\u00f6steriyor art\u0131k. G\u00fcnl\u00fck ya\u015fant\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 etkileyebilir, adet, gelenek, tav\u0131r, namus vs. Fakat art\u0131k \u00f6l\u00fcm kal\u0131m meselelerinde, vebada hatta cennete \u00e7abuk gidi\u015f yoluydu, cennete otomatik kestirme yoldu, \u015fimdi hi\u00e7 b\u00f6yle bir durum yok ya\u015famak istiyoruz, \u00f6lmek istemiyoruz. Onun i\u00e7in buradan yola \u00e7\u0131karak, biz kimiz, nereden geliyoruz, b\u00fcy\u00fck patlamadan \u00f6nce ne vard\u0131, bir \u015fey var m\u0131yd\u0131, olabilir miydi, oradan herhalde \u00e7e\u015fitli k\u00fcltler, ak\u0131mlar \u00e7\u0131kacak. K\u00fcresel de olabilir, sosyal medya arac\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131yla\u2026 Bu sorunun sonu yok bence, geli\u015ftik\u00e7e geli\u015fecek.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>Yani tamamen ortadan kalkmaz diyorsunuz de\u011fil mi?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>Kalkmaz, b\u00f6yle olmas\u0131 sa\u011fl\u0131kl\u0131 \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc insan\u0131 \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131r\u0131yor, evrendeki yerini ara\u015ft\u0131r\u0131yor. Hatta bunun distopyas\u0131, din \u015firketleri, butik din \u015firketleri bile kurulur. On tane algoritmayla, onu buradan tavlayaca\u011f\u0131m bunu buradan tavlayaca\u011f\u0131m hop kuraca\u011f\u0131m bir yaz\u0131l\u0131msal sistem.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>Uzun soluklu s\u00f6yle\u015fimizin sonunda ba\u015flang\u0131\u00e7 konumuzla noktalayacak olursak, erkek \u015fiddetinin \u00f6nlenmesi i\u00e7in nas\u0131l seslenirsiniz erkeklere?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>Hem erke\u011fe hem kad\u0131na diyalogun artmas\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6neririm. Mesela hep merak etti\u011fim; kar\u0131 koca birlikte yat\u0131yorlar, muhtemelen ayn\u0131 yatakta, muhtemelen \u00fc\u00e7 y\u0131l, be\u015f y\u0131l, on y\u0131l her ne ise, r\u00fcyalar\u0131n\u0131 payla\u015fmay\u0131 bile cesaret edemiyorlar. Eyvah, r\u00fcyamda \u015f\u00f6yle birini g\u00f6rd\u00fcm, bunu s\u00f6ylersem yanl\u0131\u015f anlayacak diye\u2026 R\u00fcyalar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 payla\u015fabilelim, \u00f6nce o g\u00fcveni kural\u0131m, ondan sonra bug\u00fcne gelebiliriz. Hi\u00e7 olmazsa r\u00fcyamdan ben sorumlu de\u011filim diyebilirim \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc \u00e7ok garip r\u00fcyalar var ger\u00e7ekten bizi \u015fa\u015f\u0131rtan\u2026 Yani o samimiyeti kurabilmek, g\u00fcveni kurabilmek laz\u0131m, bence r\u00fcyalardan gitmek, o saklamak istedi\u011fimiz hatta g\u00f6rmeyi kabul etmedi\u011fimiz, b\u0131rak\u0131n\u0131z payla\u015fmay\u0131 kendimiz kendimizi sans\u00fcrledi\u011fimiz hususlara dair ilk \u00f6nce \u00e7iftler aras\u0131, yak\u0131nlar aras\u0131 o samimiyet bir a\u00e7\u0131kl\u0131k getirebilir. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc o a\u00e7\u0131kl\u0131kla savunman\u0131z\u0131, gard\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 indirmi\u015f oluyorsunuz, o bir g\u00fcven. Onu yapabiliyorsan\u0131z g\u00fcveniyorsunuz demektir. G\u00fcven \u00e7ok \u00f6nemli.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>Kesinlikle. Her \u015fekilde ileti\u015fimin kuvvetlendirilmesi y\u00f6n\u00fcnde tavsiyeniz.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>Tabi bir de g\u00fc\u00e7le ilgili bir \u015fey var, erkek kad\u0131n\u0131 d\u00f6verken, dayak yemeyece\u011fini de biliyor, o rahatl\u0131kla fiziksel g\u00fcc\u00fcn\u00fc kullanabiliyor, s\u0131k\u0131ysa git senin boyunda birisine o \u015fiddeti g\u00f6ster. \u201cBen daha g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fcy\u00fcm, ben onu d\u00f6verim, ben ondan dayak yemem\u201d d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncesinin arkas\u0131na s\u0131\u011f\u0131narak hareket edebiliyor erkek. Art\u0131k onun ad\u0131 bencillik mi, hayvanca diyelim. Onu kullanabiliyor, bunu hat\u0131rlatmak laz\u0131m belki erkeklere, kolay tabi kad\u0131n d\u00f6vmek\u2026\u00a0\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em><br \/>\nAylin ONART<br \/>\nDevir Dergisi<br \/>\n<\/em><em>Kas\u0131m 2020<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>(T\u00fcm yaz\u0131lar\u0131m\u0131 Spotify, Google ve Apple Podcast&#8217;te sesimden dinleyebilirsiniz.)<\/em><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=O9GtXIERglk\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.on-art.net\/pictures\/1_pod_logos_yube_2.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"550\" height=\"135\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><em>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<div><em>\u00a0<\/em><\/div>\n<table id=\"tntables\" border=\"0\" cellspacing=\"5\" cellpadding=\"10\" align=\"center\">\n<tbody>\n<tr>\n<td align=\"center\" valign=\"middle\" bgcolor=\"#EBEBEB\"><a class=\"fancybox\" title=\"On-Art :: Sayfa 4\" href=\"https:\/\/www.on-art.net\/pictures\/1-img_7499.jpg\" data-fancybox-group=\"gallery\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.on-art.net\/tn.php?img=pictures\/1-img_7499.jpg&amp;s=120\" alt=\"\" \/><\/a><\/td>\n<td align=\"center\" valign=\"middle\" bgcolor=\"#EBEBEB\"><a class=\"fancybox\" title=\"On-Art :: Sayfa 1\" href=\"https:\/\/www.on-art.net\/pictures\/devir-10-aylin.jpg\" data-fancybox-group=\"gallery\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.on-art.net\/tn.php?img=pictures\/devir-10-aylin.jpg&amp;s=120\" alt=\"\" \/><\/a><\/td>\n<td align=\"center\" valign=\"middle\" bgcolor=\"#EBEBEB\"><a class=\"fancybox\" title=\"On-Art :: Sayfa 2\" href=\"https:\/\/www.on-art.net\/pictures\/devir-10-aylin-2.jpg\" data-fancybox-group=\"gallery\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.on-art.net\/tn.php?img=pictures\/devir-10-aylin-2.jpg&amp;s=120\" alt=\"\" \/><\/a><\/td>\n<td align=\"center\" valign=\"middle\" bgcolor=\"#EBEBEB\"><a class=\"fancybox\" title=\"On-Art :: Sayfa 3\" href=\"https:\/\/www.on-art.net\/pictures\/devir-10-aylin-3.jpg\" data-fancybox-group=\"gallery\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.on-art.net\/tn.php?img=pictures\/devir-10-aylin-3.jpg&amp;s=120\" alt=\"\" \/><\/a><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"clearfloat\"><\/div>\n<div class=\"social_block\">\n<p align=\"center\">\n<div class=\"addthis_toolbox addthis_default_style\" align=\"center\">\u00a0<span class=\"addthis_separator\">&#8211;<\/span>\u00a0<a class=\"addthis_button_expanded\" href=\"http:\/\/www.addthis.com\/bookmark.php?v=250&amp;pub=xa-4accab923ac47447\">Daha Fazlas\u0131<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div align=\"center\"><\/div>\n<div align=\"center\"><\/div>\n<div align=\"center\"><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u0130K\u0130L\u0130 \u0130L\u0130\u015eK\u0130LERDE \u00c7\u0130FTLER, R\u00dcYALARINI B\u0130RB\u0130RLER\u0130YLE PAYLA\u015eMAYA B\u0130LE CESARET EDEM\u0130YORLAR \u0130K\u0130L\u0130 \u0130L\u0130\u015eK\u0130LERDE \u00c7\u0130FTLER, R\u00dcYALARINI B\u0130RB\u0130RLER\u0130YLE PAYLA\u015eMAYA B\u0130LE CESARET EDEM\u0130YORLAR&#8221; (Spotify Podcast&#8217;te [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"default","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"set","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[73],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-381","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-makaleler-tr-makaleler-tr"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/seal.ergucu.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/381","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/seal.ergucu.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/seal.ergucu.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/seal.ergucu.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/seal.ergucu.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=381"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/seal.ergucu.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/381\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":382,"href":"https:\/\/seal.ergucu.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/381\/revisions\/382"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/seal.ergucu.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=381"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/seal.ergucu.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=381"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/seal.ergucu.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=381"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}